Thoughts on Friendship // Marrok MacIntyre

Monday, October 16, 2017

Hey guys, today we have Marrok who's going to share a (very) insightful post about friendship and two of the characteristics of it. Marrok blogs here so check him out to see his goofy side. :P

Hello everyone! I’m Marrok. For some reason Ash has let me come on her blog today to talk with you all. Hehehehe… I guess we shall see where that bad idea takes us… Let the Game Begin!

So, Friendship, what do you think of when you read those words? Who do you think of when I say that? Does your mind take you back to last summer when you and your friend hung out by a lake? That fun sleepover you had? That person you’ve known forever?

When you think of friendship does your mind go to Biblical characters like David and Jonathan? Is their example what you would call friendship?

I know if you ask three different people what the definition of friendship is you’ll get three different answers. And then what about the people who haven’t ever experienced what true friendship is? Can they define it for you any better? Can their hope and longing add to the definition?

I tend to think that even though some of the answers you will get to this question are good and can contain aspects of what friendship is, I think they are still lacking the necessary parts of true friendship. And those parts are

1) Self-sacrifice    
2) Openness

Why where Jonathan and David such good friends? Why are they our immediate definition of friendship? Because they were not only open with each other but were willing to endure pain for each other. In these two qualities, I think, true biblical friendship rest on. And you can find both in every Biblical friendship. From David and Jonathan, to Jesus and His disciples. The first of which is self-sacrifice.

I know when we choose friends we tend to look on external things. Does this person match my personality? Are they funny? Do they like the same things I like? Do we get along 100% of the time? Do they dress the same way as me? Do they believe the same things as me? And those things are semi-important, but I think they are they wrong things to start with. When we focus on those things we are looking for someone to benefit us, to make us feel good. We are asking how can they make us happy. But is that really friendship? Sounds more like selfishness to me since friendship is supposed to be a two-way street. Not a one-way street. It’s not just what they can do for us but more of what we can do for them. Something I very rarely hear when someone is making friends is “how can I help that person? How can this friendship cause them to grow?” I think when it comes to friendship we have been focusing on the wrong thing.

We are more than willing to let our friendship with that person benefit us, though it often seems like we don’t really care about our part within the friendship. I think the only way to make true friendships are by being willing to sacrifice yourself for the other person.

After all Jesus defined friendship as sacrifice:
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”-John 15:13

Of course, He was referring to His own death on the cross, but He is our example. Jesus is basically saying “As followers of me you must love each other like I loved you, and how did I love? I took on a horribly, bloody, painful death for people who hated me so that they can be benefited.”

Are we that willing to sacrifice for someone else? For someone we love we are willing to die for them, right? But are we willing to die for a total stranger? Are we willing to willingly suffer pain for someone we don’t like? Are we willing to die for those who hate us and make our lives hard? Because until you get to know someone they are total strangers. And sometimes our enemies become our best of friends.

Now the sacrifice I’m talking about is not only being willing to die for someone else. But it is also being willing to bear the burdens the other person has. Let’s face it, life is not easy. No one goes through it unhurt and unburned. So, if we want to make a true friendship will we be willing to come along someone else and help them? To suffer with them?

Next, we have Openness. If we want to develop good friendships that last and help us grow, we need to be open. Now before I go any farther I want to say this is probably the hardest thing to do. At least for me it is. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever had a real friend in my life. Sure, I’ve had people I’ve talked to, but all our talks were superficial. And I liked that, I didn’t have to be open and let people know what I was like on the inside. Who I was on the inside. I always kept people at arms length. But then I started college, was placed into one of the most social dorms, and got a roommate. And to top that off I meet this great man who is about as social as a person can get. One day he was giving us a lecture and as I listened to him talk his words seemed to fly straight at me. I would love to tell you everything he said but I wouldn’t be able to do it justice. But it went something like “To have true God honoring friendships you have to be willing to be open, you have to be able to let others see what’s behind the mask so they can help you grow as a believer. No one can have a relationship with a person behind a closed door.”

To form a good friendship, we have to be willing to let others see what we don’t want them to see, we have to let them see where we struggle, where we are weak. That is the only way to really be friends. Now I’m not saying you should dump all that on a person you just met. But once you start hanging out with someone for a while you should ask them, and yourself “where do I want this relationship to go? Do I want it to help us grow as brothers in the Lord? Do I want this relationship to last? Do I want to be true friends?”

When Ash asked me if I wanted to join in on this post my thoughts where “What? Make a post about friendship? I have never had a friend before how can I make a post about that?” But after some though and prayer I thought I would give it my best shot. I mean right now I’m learning a lot of what it means to be a friend, what it means to “bear each other’s burdens.” So, besides those two points I came up with a little analogy to illustrate those principles in action. Yes I known it isn’t the best ever, but hey I’m still learning.

Imagine you’re a knight. You’ve been fighting in a war that has been raging all day and all night. It is the following morning now and still you fight. Pain and soreness has already settled into your muscles, and to add to that you’ve been wounded multiple times.

Under the weight of your armor, wounds, and soreness you hobble over to a small forest to catch your breath. As you walk alone you soon find a small pond. The water is crystal clear and your throat is so dry even your own saliva is hard to swallow. As you come closer you catch movement out of the corner of your eye, another wounded knight is coming from the opposite direction. Your eyes meet. Not knowing if you are enemies or allies you both ready your swords. Slowly you both inch closer to the water. You both look from the water back to each other, but soon soreness and thirst cause you both to drop your swords and drink, each keeping a wary eye on the other as you drink.

After some time, you both decide that neither is a threat so you both sit down for just a little rest. Noticing that you are both wounded one suggests to the other that now would be a good time to get bandaged while the fighting is not close. After some thought you both do so and in no time, you are both bandaged. But still pain and soreness tare through your bodies. And just as you two start to relax, the sound of the war drums breaks the tranquil silence.

It’s so close, you both can hear the thunder of battle but you both haven’t had a chance to recover from your wounds. As you both stand you notice the other person is struggling under the weight of his armor. So, you go to help him stand. As you help your new comrade up you find that not only are you supporting him but he is also supporting you. Now both your burdens are not as heavy as they use to be. Since both of your burdens are lighter now you two make your way back to into the fight. After all, you are both Knights who fight for your King. As you make your way onto the battlefield an enemy rushes your fellow knight from the left side, you pull your sword out and stand in front to defend your bother in arms.

For the briefest of moments, you look back and you see the other knight at your back, his sword drawn as well as he faces an enemy coming at you from your right.Your eyes make contact, and in that moment, you know this knight has your back as a bother in arms. You both nod and turn back to the enemies in front of you, with only one thought running through your head “I won’t let you reach my brother”

Servant of the True King, Marrok Macintyre is a college student striving to run the race with endurance (though he falls a lot more than he would like to mention). When he isn’t too
busy causing trouble, being a comic geek, or running around outside Marrok enjoys reading, writing, drawing, and tinkering. Just don’t take him too seriously, he likes to joke a lot.

Again, check out Marrok's blog here!

Thanks so much, Rockie! And I was pretty impressed that I only found 12 typos...xD


  1. Wow, I loved your points, Marrok! Thanks a heap for sharing.

  2. Thanks for having me and my 12 typos here Ash :P it was a lot of fun!

  3. Great post, Marrok!
    This is all so true and encouraged me a lot.

  4. Strange that you should do a post on friendship. I'm right in the middle of doing a Bible study on friendship myself!
    I like your analogy. Really good points. Great post. Thanks for sharing, Marrok!
    And, thanks for allowing him to share, Ashley. ;)

  5. I just recently read another article on friendship - funny. Tis the season for learning more about enriching friendships. ;)
    Anyway, great post! And I've always loved the whole "David/Jonathan" friendship; my best friend and I have used that as nicknames for eachother in our friendship. Godly examples are the best, but harder to come by!


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